Ask The Paladins
by The Darke Lorde
Summary: Title says it all. Rated K just in case.
1. Chapter 1

**HEY-LOA! IT'S TIME FOR A BRAND NEW STORY BY DARKE LORDE PRODUCTIONS! This time, instead of just making a new AU (Alternate Universe), I'll put this one in the Ask the Age-Flipped Loud Kids AU. Its name is Ask the Paladins. Basically, this is after chapter 4 of ATAFLK (Ask the Age-Flipped Loud Kids), when the Paladins, Allura, and Coran, tired after dancing their turkeys off at an AWESOME dance party at the Loud's place, only to find a message from Darke Lorde Production Studios in Cleveland to make an ask show just like the Loud's, and quickly sent an acceptation message. So be sure to check that out when you want to. Al;l rights go to Netflix. K, let's go.**

 **It's time for… Ask the Paladins!**

Lance was testing out a new mic, saying, "Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3," Katie and Shiro were making the lighting just right, Keith and Hunk were sending messages all around the Multiverse for co-stars, and Allura and Coran were herding their 14 new do-dos (Again, check Chapter 4 of ATAFLK for more info) out of the bridge, paying absolutely NO attention to the camera

 **I SAID… it's time for… Ask the Paladins!**

Lance jumped, grabbed the mic out of the air above (He had thrown it up) and quickly said, "TESTING, TESTING, 1, 2, 3!" Katie yelped and fell off Shiro's shoulders, Hunk and Keith yelped and accidentally hit 'Send' and Allura grabbed the mic from Lance and said, "Hey guys! Sorry we couldn't pay attention… We were surprised… and chaos ensued," looking at Coran being over taken by do-dos.

 **Katie, do you still have Lola's clothes on? And do you still have on that Hermione wig?**

Katie nodded, and then took off her hair to reveal longer hair than Pidge Gunderson.

 **Paladins if you guys have ANY 2 super powers, which 2 would you pick and why? Oh, and resistance and control are each different.**

Here are their answers:

Katie: Invisibility and Force Field, because I could stay invulnerable.

Shiro: Invulnerability and Super Strength, because it would be impossible to harm me, yet I could REALLY harm someone.

Hunk: Flight and Invisibility, because I could scout without being spotted.

Keith: Fire Control and Fire Resistance, because I could control fire without being burnt.

Lance: Water Control and Shape-shifting, because I could be an awesome merman.

 **Hunk, aren't you Samoan? Can you sing us You're Welcome?**

Hunk started singing:

Ok, ok, I see what's happening here  
You're face to face with greatness, and it's strange  
You don't even know how you feel  
It's adorable!  
Well, it's nice to see that humans never change

Open your eyes, let's begin  
Yes, it's really me, it's Maui: breathe it in!

I know it's a lot: the hair, the bod!  
When you're staring at a demi-god

What can I say except you're welcome  
For the tides, the sun, the sky  
Hey, it's okay, it's okay  
You're welcome  
I'm just an ordinary demi-guy

Hey!  
What has two thumbs that pulled up the sky  
When you were waddling yay high  
This guy!

When the nights got cold  
Who stole you fire from down below  
You're lookin' at him, yo

Oh, also I lassoed the sun  
You're welcome!  
To stretch the days and bring you fun

Also I harnessed the breeze  
You're welcome!  
To fill your sails and shake your trees

So what can I say except you're welcome  
For the islands I pulled from the sea  
There's no need to pray, it's okay  
You're welcome!  
Ha, I guess it's just my way of being me  
You're welcome!  
You're welcome!

Well, come to think of it  
Kid, honestly I can go on and on  
I can explain every natural phenomenon  
The tide, the grass, the ground, oh  
That was Maui just messing around

I killed an eel  
I buried its guts  
Sprouted a tree, now you got coconuts  
What's the lesson  
What is the take-away  
Don't mess with Maui when he's on the break-away

And the tapestry here on my skin  
Is a map of the victories I win  
Look where I've been  
I make everything happen  
Look at that mini-Maui just tippity-tappin'

Well, anyway let me say you're welcome  
For the wonderful world you know  
Hey, it's okay, it's okay  
You're welcome!  
Well, come to think of it, I gotta go

Hey, it's your day to say you're welcome  
'Cause I'm gonna need that boat  
I'm sailing away, away  
You're welcome!  
'Cause Maui can do anything but float

You're welcome!  
You're welcome!  
And thank you!

He locked up the do-dos in Keith's room. When he came back to the bridge, he was slugged by Keith who was obviously mad at him shutting the do-dos in his room.

 **Lance, how would you react if Allura dressed s Lord Dominator?**

Lance drooled at the mental image of Allura dressed as Lord Dominator.

 **Allura, dress up as Lord Dominator!**

Allura came in dressed up as said Wander Over Yonder character. Lance started drooling like a waterfall, then started sputtering, flinging drool everywhere, and then fainted.

 **Keith, there's a Half-Galra-Half-Human girl behind you.**

Keith whirled around and saw a 17-year-old girl with pointy ears.

The girl said, "Hey, my name is Jenny, do you want to go to that buffet place in the closest system? They have some Earth food there. Maybe later?"

Keith said, "Uh… sure!" and Jenny said, "OK!" then walked out of the bridge of the Castle Ship. Allura (Who was still in the Lord Dominator costume) said, "How in the name of my father did Jenny get on the ship?"

 **I let her in.**

"Oh."

 **Shiro, there's a Japanese 25-year-old behind you.**

Shiro turned around to see a Japanese 25-year-old.

She said, "Kon'nichiwa, watashinonamaeha Marikadesu, anata wa episōdo no nochi ni kōhī o motte imasu ka?"

Shiro said," Anata ga shiritakereba watashinonamaeha Shirogane Takashidesu, Shikashi, watashi o tanomu" and then Marika said, "K," then went out the same way Jenny did. Allura said, "Let me guess… you let her in?" You know me!

 **Coran, why do you call yourself a gorgeous man when you know you aren't?**

Coran just blushed.

 **Also, I sent an entire army of Weblums at you.**

They screamed as the Weblums shot their laser beams at the Castle Ship, ending the episode.


	2. Blueberries

**Hey guys, it's The Darke Lorde! K, here's a difference you may have noticed: I'm not doing the drama anymore. In fact, I'm only saving it for my llama. K, LET'S GO. Oh, and Jenny (The Half-Galra Keith and you met last episode) is ACTUALLY 18, not 17. That was a typo. Sorry.**

 **It's time for… ASK THE PALADINS!**

Lance said, "YEP! WE'RE NOW READY TO ANSWER YOUR MOST BURNING QUESTIONS! LET'S GO!"

 **Katie, why did you dress up as a boy and go incognito?**

She said, "'Cuz I wanted to find my family,"

 **Lance, aren't you Cuban? Can you sing us Despacito? It would be good to hear it, 'cuz of the Weblums.**

Lance sang:

Ay  
Fonsi  
DY  
Oh  
Oh no, oh no  
Oh yeah  
Diridiri, dirididi Daddy  
Go

Sí, sabes que ya llevo un rato mirándote  
Tengo que bailar contigo hoy (DY)  
Vi que tu mirada ya estaba llamándome  
Muéstrame el camino que yo voy (Oh)

Tú, tú eres el imán y yo soy el metal  
Me voy acercando y voy armando el plan  
Solo con pensarlo se acelera el pulso (Oh yeah)

Ya, ya me está gustando más de lo normal  
Todos mis sentidos van pidiendo más  
Esto hay que tomarlo sin ningún apuro

Despacito  
Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito  
Deja que te diga cosas al oído  
Para que te acuerdes si no estás conmigo

Despacito  
Quiero desnudarte a besos despacito  
Firmo en las paredes de tu laberinto  
Y hacer de tu cuerpo todo un manuscrito (sube, sube, sube)  
(Sube, sube)

Quiero ver bailar tu pelo  
Quiero ser tu ritmo  
Que le enseñes a mi boca  
Tus lugares favoritos (favoritos, favoritos baby)

Déjame sobrepasar tus zonas de peligro  
Hasta provocar tus gritos  
Y que olvides tu apellido (Diridiri, dirididi Daddy)

(DY) Si te pido un beso ven dámelo  
Yo sé que estás pensándolo  
Llevo tiempo intentándolo  
Mami, esto es dando y dándolo  
Sabes que tu corazón conmigo te hace bom, bom  
Sabes que esa beba está buscando de mi bom, bom  
Ven prueba de mi boca para ver cómo te sabe  
Quiero, quiero, quiero ver cuánto amor a ti te cabe  
Yo no tengo prisa, yo me quiero dar el viaje  
Empecemos lento, después salvaje

Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito  
Nos vamos pegando poquito a poquito  
Cuando tú me besas con esa destreza  
Veo que eres malicia con delicadeza

Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito  
Nos vamos pegando, poquito a poquito  
Y es que esa belleza es un rompecabezas  
Pero pa montarlo aquí tengo la pieza

Despacito  
Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito  
Deja que te diga cosas al oído  
Para que te acuerdes si no estás conmigo

Despacito  
Quiero desnudarte a besos despacito  
Firmo en las paredes de tu laberinto  
Y hacer de tu cuerpo todo un manuscrito (sube, sube, sube)  
(Sube, sube)

Quiero ver bailar tu pelo  
Quiero ser tu ritmo  
Que le enseñes a mi boca  
Tus lugares favoritos (favoritos, favoritos baby)

Déjame sobrepasar tus zonas de peligro  
Hasta provocar tus gritos  
Y que olvides tu apellido

Despacito  
Vamos a hacerlo en una playa en Puerto Rico  
Hasta que las olas griten "¡ay, bendito!"  
Para que mi sello se quede contigo

Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito  
Nos vamos pegando, poquito a poquito  
Que le enseñes a mi boca  
Tus lugares favoritos (favoritos, favoritos baby)

Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito  
Nos vamos pegando, poquito a poquito  
Hasta provocar tus gritos  
Y que olvides tu apellido (DY)  
Despacito

Everyone made a HUGE encore for only 6 people and 14 do-dos.

 **Hunk, there's a 17-year-old Samoan girl behind you who, in proportion, looks like Moana, and you would be Maui.**

Hunk turned around to see said 17-year-old.

She said, "Hey, I'm Lailah, do you want to share some donuts with me later?"

Hunk just said, "Uh… Sure! I'm Hunk, by the way."

Lailah said, "K," and left the bridge. Allura (Who was still in the Lord Dominator outfit from last episode) flicked me off. It's your turn next, Allura.

 **Allura,** **VISADIMLAMUSVACCINIUMNUTRIETBUS!**

Allura started turning blue, like a blueberry. Lance said, "WHAT DID YOU DO!?"

 **She's going to inflate like a blueberry!**

This was justified by Allura getting a potbelly, then started to get rounder, like a bluberry.

Katie, Lance, and Coran (Who had the do-dos from last episode on a leash) heard Allura yell, "WHAT'RE YOU DOING!? HELP MMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

They also heard Keith, Hunk, Shiro, Marika, Lailah, and Jenny start singing and dancing the steps to the Oompa Loompa song(They were in Oompa Loompa suits), "OOM"A, LOOMPA, DOOPITY DOPP! WE HAVE A PRESENT, JUST FOR YOU! WE WILL GET HER RIGHT ON OUT, IF ONLY YOU ACCEPT THIS GRAND OLD GIFT!" and kept repeating the song while giving Lance a box, which exploded in his face, then pushed Allura out (Who was roughly the size of a young killer whale). When Allura got stuck in the gate out of the the bridge, she had gotten so HUGE that the ship exploded, ending the episode.


End file.
